Destructions of Anger:
Anger makes people nervous. You can never recognize what’s going to happen. There could be screaming, hitting, throwing things, or mean, sarcastic comments that really hurt. Anything goes with annoyance and that’s why it’s so scary.
It impacts you at the core because when someone cannot contain their pique, you don’t feel safe. Signs of unhealthy anger are everywhere. It’s at work, in politics, even at home. Just walking down the street you see someone losing it.
This blog shows you seven ways to spot unhealthy anger because without that healthy anger is not possible!
Anger Is the Norm
There are a few examples of healthy anger. It is said that most people can’t mention three people that do handle their temper well. That’s why I am writing this. Recognizing the cost of unhealthy anger is what helps transform it.
1. Stuffing Anger Causes Resentment
If you think holding it in is better than expressing it, please rethink that! Unexpressed displeasure leads to resentments the pile up over time. Studies have shown that stuffing irritation leads to increased stress and is a major contributor in getting sick.
2. Exploding Anger Destroys Trust
With this type, you never know what’s coming and you live in fear. There are usually warning signs when a conversation starts feeling unsafe. Intense blaming, getting defensive and criticizing are common signs.
Don’t try to fix it or calm them down. If there are kids, get out as quietly as you can. Have an extra set of keys handy. It’s more important to be safe than to be right.
3. Screaming or Any Sign of Physical Anger
When temper gets physical, it provokes intense fear or the need to retaliate. It becomes a battle of wills and “fighting for what you deserve.” This is NOT a good plan. Don’t poke the bear. Your life may depend on it.
If you’re afraid for your safety, create a safety plan that includes a packed bag, extra keys, and a place to stay if you’re feeling unsafe.
4. The Silent Treatment
Giving someone the silent treatment is a way to punish without having to directly confront. This eliminates any chance of resolution. Tension lingers because you would rather punish than admit fault. Preserving your pride keeps you alone.
5. Using Time-outs
Leaving for hours is not the same as taking a planned time-out. Trust gets broken when you leave without a word. That makes practicing an effective time-out difficult. To read more on effective time-outs read Managing Anger with Time-out.
6. Blame Invites Someone to Do the Same
People get defensive and emotions escalate fast when you start to blame. You play “who gets the last word” but that usually doesn’t end well. It becomes a back and forth of hurtful comments that prevent resolution.
7. Ignoring Early Warning Signs
Ignoring the early signs of stress is the number one factor that contributes to losing control. Paying attention to how you feel throughout the day, not just once in a while keeps this in check.